Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
All the doctor said was why
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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