If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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