Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
tell me about the fingering
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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