Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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