I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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