finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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