I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think I am morally bankrupt
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
