Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
