Say something about gay babies.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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