I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
