we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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