this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
