I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
