tonight lets celebrate not being married
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
