I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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