That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
