I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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