You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
