he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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