What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
