i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
