Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
