A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
