I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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