if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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