Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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