He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize