What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He better not be in your backpack
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
