woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Randomize
