But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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