what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
