Fine. I'll sleep in my office
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i think i have herpe
just one?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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