Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
