its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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