Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
