4 words: hood of his car
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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