its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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