We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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