Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
