My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
