Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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