Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
