best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
