I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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