guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
