Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
