im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
