I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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