sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize