tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
