YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
