I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
