1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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