how can u be prego again
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
