If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
