Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
