they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
