Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
