Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
