He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he fucked my hip out of place.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize