At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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