I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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