Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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