SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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