whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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