I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
