Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
