I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
