The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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