He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
