Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
