vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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