Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
