The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Randomize