My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
