i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
