we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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