i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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